nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
