I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
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So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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