so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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