i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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