We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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