You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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