Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
