I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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