Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
