I'm lost and stupid without you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
