Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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