Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
