see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
