So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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