you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
People in love make me want to vomit
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
