idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
