And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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