That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize