Will you blow on my dice?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
