don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
