i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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