was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
