FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
