i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
