her vagine was all disorganized.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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