thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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