I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
