It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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