is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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