I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
