I wish I only lived at night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
