i came on her dog
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
