just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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