nut hugger
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
