is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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