Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
