so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
