Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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