I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
