i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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