He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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