so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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