why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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