just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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