We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
