if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
