Nicole vs. Life
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
