the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
