no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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