My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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