he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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