Just took my morning after pill in the library
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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