omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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