I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
