i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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