Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
