You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
