Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
