When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
