Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He has the fingertips of a God
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