Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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