Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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