its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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