You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
