If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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